Post by emi on Apr 14, 2007 8:20:30 GMT
Okay, here's just some random fanfiction I have. The first one is a sorta a Rod/Nicky Angst Tragedy. Theres a few swearwords, but nothing you can't handle after watching Q!! It's pretty obvious how far after the show this is, but just in case you don't pick up on it, it's about 6 years. Rod and Ricky are still together, and Nicky still lives with them.
I wrote it after listening to the youtube video of Simon and Jon singing 'Growing Old With You' from the Lovefest, so that's why I have random little snippets of song in it.
Oh, and I WISH Q belonged to me, but it doesn't. It belongs to Jeff Marx and Bobby Lopez. I know thats obvious, but it's just there for legal reasons, so DON'T SUE ME!!!
okay, On with the fic!
He had gotten the phone call 15 minutes ago, and he was on the way to the hospital. Oh god, all these thoughts running through his head. Visions of Nicky's mangled body flashed through his head, and his eyes welled up. No, he couldn't be. It was too soon, he was so young. There was too many things they were meant to have done together, that he had always told Nicky 'Not now, I'm busy! Another day perhaps' All these regrets, and now THIS! On his birthday of all days. He thought the day through. It was his 31st Birthday, and he had woke up at 7AM on the dot, as always. He just lay there, looking at the ceiling, planning his day out when Ricky woke up. He gave him a quick kiss on the forehead, before getting up (and getting dressed!) and going downstairs to start up some breakfast. Rod was still in bed, but wide-awake. Ricky always forbade him to get out of bed on his birthday, and insisted on giving Rod breakfast in bed, even though he always complained that there would be crumbs in bed. Nicky had gone out the night before, come in at 2AM, woken the whole street with his drunken singing 'Come on guys, you know it! Sing along!' before collapsing in Rod's arms, whom carried Nicky to the living room couch and placed him down, while Ricky picked up a blanket and passed it to Rod, who tucked it in around him.
'Why do you put up with him Rod? He's just a nuisance.' Ricky had whispered
'I know, but..'...I still love him, flashed through his brain for a second, before he quickly banished it to the corner of his mind. He had been together with Ricky for 6 years now, and he had gotten quite an expert at masking his feelings. 'He's my best friend, and he wouldn't have anywhere else to go.'
'I know, Rod, but…' Ricky's voice trailed away. 'Come on, let's go back to bed.'
Nicky had woken up at 12, come downstairs, where Rod was reading a newspaper, and Ricky was lounging around, watching TV, and sat at the dining room table.
'So, what's for breakfast? I'm starving??' Rod sighed.
'Nicky, if you'd come down for breakfast at a DECENT time, you could have had waffles with us.'
'Waffles? You only have waffles on… oh. Shit.' And with that he had ran out of the door. Rod had sighed again, and muttered a quick 'He's so annoying sometimes!' under his breath before getting back to his newspaper.
That had been about an hour ago. Now, his heart was thumping, and felt as though he was about to be sick. Oh god, why was this traffic not moving! Didn't they know that he needed to get to the hospital NOW?? He slammed the horn down, hard. The honk seemed hollow, as though it was coming from far away. Oh god, why did he have to have run out like that? There was so many things that should have been said. His eyes were tearing up again, and almost as if he knew what was going through his mind, Ricky placed his hand on his thigh. 'He'll be fine.' He muttered. Something just broke inside of him, he could feel it. Something snapped inside of his heart. 'HOW DO YOU KNOW!!!?' He shouted 'HOW DO YOU JUST FUCKING KNOW THESE THINGS?? YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT IT'S GOING TO BE O-FUCKING-KAY, BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW?
NICKY COULD BE DYING!!' Wait..he didn't just say that, did he? Nicky couldn't be dying. He just couldn't be!!! There was quiet for a good few minutes, broken only by the typical NYC background noise. The traffic moved on a bit, and Rod shifted the car a few meters, before he had to stop again. Still, Ricky quietly mumbled 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I don't know what's going through your mind right now, because I know you still have feelings for him,I suppose I've always known that you've never really gotten over him. I know that, and I've put up with it for god knows how long. I know that I'm always going to be second best in your eyes, compared to Nicky' Rod was silent. He couldn't say anything, because he knew that Ricky was right. No matter how hard he tried, and what he did, he still loved Nicky. Ricky would always be second compared to his angel, his Nicky. The cars in front of him looked hazy, through the tears that were filling up in his eyes, but were forbidden to fall.
They were at the hospital now, and they hadn't said a word to each other since. He had nearly ran to the reception. 'Nicky ..' He couldn't get any further, because he was choking back tears. Why did their last words together have to be so short and rushed, and why did he have to be so annoyed at him for getting up late. It's what Nicky did, it's part of what made him so damn adorable. The women pointed him down the corridor. 'Forth on the right.'
His heart was in his mouth now, and it was throbbing, hurting it was beating that much. Please, let him be okay. Maybe a couple of broken bones, but nothing too serious. He's going to be okay. Please, for Christ's sake, let him be okay! Oh god, here it was. Room 24601. Rod gave a small bitter chuckle. Any other time, he would have burst out into Les Mis, loudly, badly, off-key screeching 'Who am I? I'm Jean Valjean! Who am I? 2-4-6-0-1!!' But now? He didn't feel like doing anything right now. Just, being close and near to his Nicky. His angel.
His hand slipped over the door handle, he was sweating that much. He didn't want to see his Nicky all messed up, his perfect face ruined, his …albeit a bit overweight from lack of exercise, beautiful body scarred and bloody. It wasn't until Ricky placed his hand over his own, and was twisting the door handle, that he realised he had been stood there, his eyes screwed up. Part of him not wanting to go in because he was scared of what Nicky would look like. He couldn't face seeing his best friend like that, but another, stronger, part wanting to fly to Nickys side and never move again.
And there he was, his perfect angel, lying on a hospital bed, bruises and cuts all over his face, and an oxygen mask over his face. Oh god. What if it was too late? What if he never woke up? How could he survive without Nicky? It couldn't happen. If Nicky died, he would kill hi- what was he saying? He could never do that! Nicky wouldn't want him to. Nicky would want him to carry on with his life, and grow old with Ricky. Adopt children, start life afresh.
Stirring from the bed caught his attention. Nicky was turning his face to look at them.
'Rod?'
'Yes Nicky, I'm here.' His voice held back tears. This couldn't happen. Not now. He was only 30. He should be settling down and getting married, not battling for his life in a hospital bed. No!
I wanna make you smile, whenever you're sad
Carry you around, when your arthritis is bad
I can be the man, to grow old with you…
'Rod, I'm sorry for forgetting your birth..'
'Shhh. I know. It's not your fault.'
'I was only hurrying back from the store, I didn't mean to..The car just... I bought you a birthday present. It's just there.' He looked over at the chair next to him. There, in an obviously store gift wrapped present. He gingerly picked it up, and looked at Nicky, who said 'Open it!' He started to untie the bow on the top, and once it had fallen off, he slowly peeled off every layer. If this was going to be their las – don't THINK like that Rod. He's going to be fine. His eyes filled up with tears, as he seen what the present was: 'The life and times of Judy Garland.'
'Oh Nicky!' He put the book down next to him, and tried to give his best friend a hug, but there were too many wires pumping blood into his now-fragile body. He looked into his eyes, and there was an understanding that was only between them. 'Thank you.'
'I know you've had your eyes on in for a while, and I'd been saving up for weeks to buy it for you.'
The tears were still there, but being held back. He wouldn't break down in front of Nicky. He would stay strong. He was always the rock, emotionless one. He couldn't let go now.
'Oh Nicky, Thank you.'
Be your medicine when your tummy aches,
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
It would be so nice, growing old with you…
There was a commotion outside, and he took his eyes of Nicky for a brief moment, and seen that Kate, Princeton, Gary, Lucy, (Who were now a couple, after Lucy had her 'encounter with the Lord'! at this very hospital) Christmas Eve, Brian…hell, even Trekkie had dragged his ass down from his computer to come visit. Typically, the commotion was caused by Trekkie trying to check out some nurse's tits. Even Nicky managed a chuckle once he seen what was happening out of his window. He turned back, and seen that his love wasn't his normal bright green self, he was now much paler. Oh god. No! He grabbed for Nickys hand, which was cold as ice.
'Nicky! Nicky! Oh god, Nicky! Can you hear me??' Not now, please, if there was a god up there, please don't let him go now. There were still so many things left unsaid…
'Rod, I'm fine, don't worry.' Even now, Nicky had that tone of voice that had always reassured Rod. The laughing-all-life-is-a-joke, tone. Argh, that tone usually annoyed him so much! But how could he be annoyed at his Nicky now? 'I'm gonna be okay.'
Thoughts flashed through Rod's mind: 'Oh Nicky.You knew that was a lie, and so does everyone else. Why do you do this to me? I love you with all of my heart, and now you're just going to leave me. This isn't fair, You're too young. Please don't leave me Nicky, I need you by my side.'
'Nicky, I just want you to know that… oh god, how can I put this? I'm sorry. No doubt, I put you through a lot of pain when you realised I loved you. I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for always putting things off, telling you that we'll do them another day. I'm sorry for never letting you get a puppy, because I was scared they would mess up the apartment. As soon as you're out of here, we'll buy you one.'
Here, he expected Ricky to put up an argument, but he didn't speak up, he just placed a hand on Rod's back, as if to agree, but without saying anything. He could swear Ricky had a 6th sense sometimes; it was almost as if he knew when to talk, and when it was just a quiet moment. It was one of those things that was so different to Nicky. Nicky was always so talkative, and it was usually so annoying, but now, he would give anything to hear him speak.
And I'll miss you,..
Kiss you,
Take your shoes off and rub your feet…
'A puppy? Really? You're not just saying that? Can we get a Dalmation? I've always wanted one of them!' His voice sounded so sweet, full of excitement, like a child's in the same position.
'Any one you want. You just name the type.'
Nicky had a big smile on his face now. 'I want a brown Labrador. We can name him Chocolate, and we can take him for walks around Central Park.'
'Whatever you want Nicky. We go on walks around the whole city if you want. We can go eat at that place you've always wanted to go, and I promise I won't burst out into my Barbra impression every time we walk past a theatre. I'm sorry for doing that, I know it annoyed you. I'm sorry for all those times I dragged you to see a show, when I know you wanted to go somewhere else. I'm sorry for all those times you wanted to show me things, but I just ignored you. I'm sorry for saying I have work, just so I didn't have to go out with you. You know, I regretted it as soon as the words came out of my mouth. It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with you, and I don't know why I said them, but they came out of my mouth, and I'm sorry.'
The tears were coming now. Slowly, but they where there. His hand was gripping Nickys, hard. Ricky had sat down next to him, and his friends were in the hospital corridor, not wanting to break the atmosphere, and watching them through the room's window. Kate and Princeton were holding on to each other, Kate chewing on her lip, her eyes filled with tears, while Princeton was trying to comfort her, but he was obviously trying not to cry at the same time. Christmas Eve and Brian were sitting down on some obviously hugely uncomfortable hospital chairs, holding hands. Lucy and Gary? Weren't there, it looked like they had gone to eat. He had lost all track of time, just sitting there, looking at his angel being kept alive with machines, obviously in lots of pain. It seemed that everyone knew it was just a matter of time. No one can get hit by a 60MPH truck and live to tell the tale.
Need you..
Feed you...
And when we play checkers I'll let you cheat...
'Please, don't go Nicky. I know you can fight this. Please, I couldn't live if you weren't here. I'd go crazy. You remember that time when we weren't talking, and you were living on the streets? I cried myself to sleep every night. I hated not speaking to you, it tore me apart. I'm sorry for doing that to you. I'm sorry for being so hot headed. I've never really forgiven myself for doing that to you. I'm so sorry, for everything. I'm sorry for always complaining about how you came in drunk at night. I'm sorry for all those times we argued. They were always over little things, and I'm sorry for blowing them up out of control.'
There was no stopping the tears now. They were freely flowing down his cheeks, ruining his best suit, but he didn't care, or even think about it. His hand grabbing Nicky's tightly.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink
It would've been so nice…
'Please don't leave me now Nicky. I couldn't imagine life without you by my side. Remember the conversation we had last week? You were going to get married to a hot babe, and I was going to adopt kids, and we were going to stay the best of friends, all the way until my kids kicked us out of their flat, and even then, we'd be those creepy old best friends in the nursing home with the false teeth. Remember Nicky? We swore we'd stay the best of friends forever. We were meant to grow old together Nicky. You can't leave me now. Don't fucking leave me now Nicky. Don't you fucking leave me!!!! I couldn't fucking live without you.' He wiped his eyes under his glasses. He wasn't going to have his final words to his Nicky be swearing. He'd never forgive himself.... 'Nicky, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you, you've always been there for me, no matter what, ever since we first met in kindergarten. Thank you for those times we had together. Thank you for helping me come out, I know I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you for...oh, those times we would sit in the living room, and you would annoy me by sitting to close to the TV, or burning your tounge on the marshmallow roasting fork. I know I complained, but it was just because I didn't realise that is what made you so adorable. You should have had a proper girlfriend by now, but the girls obviously couldn't see what an absolute star you are. You brighten up peoples lives,Nicky, just by being there. And for that, my angel, I thank you.' He couldn't hold back the tears anymore. All the fear, anger, sadness, of the past..oh god, what time was it now? Days could have passed, and he wouldn't have noticed. All that mattered was that him and Nicky were together. All the emotions that he had been feeling just came out in a torrent of sobs. He was crying for himself, he was crying for Nicky, he was crying for the loss to their group of friends, He was crying for the memories that should have been theirs but were missed, but most of all, he was crying for the future that should have been.
…growing old with you…
I wrote it after listening to the youtube video of Simon and Jon singing 'Growing Old With You' from the Lovefest, so that's why I have random little snippets of song in it.
Oh, and I WISH Q belonged to me, but it doesn't. It belongs to Jeff Marx and Bobby Lopez. I know thats obvious, but it's just there for legal reasons, so DON'T SUE ME!!!
okay, On with the fic!
He had gotten the phone call 15 minutes ago, and he was on the way to the hospital. Oh god, all these thoughts running through his head. Visions of Nicky's mangled body flashed through his head, and his eyes welled up. No, he couldn't be. It was too soon, he was so young. There was too many things they were meant to have done together, that he had always told Nicky 'Not now, I'm busy! Another day perhaps' All these regrets, and now THIS! On his birthday of all days. He thought the day through. It was his 31st Birthday, and he had woke up at 7AM on the dot, as always. He just lay there, looking at the ceiling, planning his day out when Ricky woke up. He gave him a quick kiss on the forehead, before getting up (and getting dressed!) and going downstairs to start up some breakfast. Rod was still in bed, but wide-awake. Ricky always forbade him to get out of bed on his birthday, and insisted on giving Rod breakfast in bed, even though he always complained that there would be crumbs in bed. Nicky had gone out the night before, come in at 2AM, woken the whole street with his drunken singing 'Come on guys, you know it! Sing along!' before collapsing in Rod's arms, whom carried Nicky to the living room couch and placed him down, while Ricky picked up a blanket and passed it to Rod, who tucked it in around him.
'Why do you put up with him Rod? He's just a nuisance.' Ricky had whispered
'I know, but..'...I still love him, flashed through his brain for a second, before he quickly banished it to the corner of his mind. He had been together with Ricky for 6 years now, and he had gotten quite an expert at masking his feelings. 'He's my best friend, and he wouldn't have anywhere else to go.'
'I know, Rod, but…' Ricky's voice trailed away. 'Come on, let's go back to bed.'
Nicky had woken up at 12, come downstairs, where Rod was reading a newspaper, and Ricky was lounging around, watching TV, and sat at the dining room table.
'So, what's for breakfast? I'm starving??' Rod sighed.
'Nicky, if you'd come down for breakfast at a DECENT time, you could have had waffles with us.'
'Waffles? You only have waffles on… oh. Shit.' And with that he had ran out of the door. Rod had sighed again, and muttered a quick 'He's so annoying sometimes!' under his breath before getting back to his newspaper.
That had been about an hour ago. Now, his heart was thumping, and felt as though he was about to be sick. Oh god, why was this traffic not moving! Didn't they know that he needed to get to the hospital NOW?? He slammed the horn down, hard. The honk seemed hollow, as though it was coming from far away. Oh god, why did he have to have run out like that? There was so many things that should have been said. His eyes were tearing up again, and almost as if he knew what was going through his mind, Ricky placed his hand on his thigh. 'He'll be fine.' He muttered. Something just broke inside of him, he could feel it. Something snapped inside of his heart. 'HOW DO YOU KNOW!!!?' He shouted 'HOW DO YOU JUST FUCKING KNOW THESE THINGS?? YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT IT'S GOING TO BE O-FUCKING-KAY, BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW?
NICKY COULD BE DYING!!' Wait..he didn't just say that, did he? Nicky couldn't be dying. He just couldn't be!!! There was quiet for a good few minutes, broken only by the typical NYC background noise. The traffic moved on a bit, and Rod shifted the car a few meters, before he had to stop again. Still, Ricky quietly mumbled 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I don't know what's going through your mind right now, because I know you still have feelings for him,I suppose I've always known that you've never really gotten over him. I know that, and I've put up with it for god knows how long. I know that I'm always going to be second best in your eyes, compared to Nicky' Rod was silent. He couldn't say anything, because he knew that Ricky was right. No matter how hard he tried, and what he did, he still loved Nicky. Ricky would always be second compared to his angel, his Nicky. The cars in front of him looked hazy, through the tears that were filling up in his eyes, but were forbidden to fall.They were at the hospital now, and they hadn't said a word to each other since. He had nearly ran to the reception. 'Nicky ..' He couldn't get any further, because he was choking back tears. Why did their last words together have to be so short and rushed, and why did he have to be so annoyed at him for getting up late. It's what Nicky did, it's part of what made him so damn adorable. The women pointed him down the corridor. 'Forth on the right.'
His heart was in his mouth now, and it was throbbing, hurting it was beating that much. Please, let him be okay. Maybe a couple of broken bones, but nothing too serious. He's going to be okay. Please, for Christ's sake, let him be okay! Oh god, here it was. Room 24601. Rod gave a small bitter chuckle. Any other time, he would have burst out into Les Mis, loudly, badly, off-key screeching 'Who am I? I'm Jean Valjean! Who am I? 2-4-6-0-1!!' But now? He didn't feel like doing anything right now. Just, being close and near to his Nicky. His angel.
His hand slipped over the door handle, he was sweating that much. He didn't want to see his Nicky all messed up, his perfect face ruined, his …albeit a bit overweight from lack of exercise, beautiful body scarred and bloody. It wasn't until Ricky placed his hand over his own, and was twisting the door handle, that he realised he had been stood there, his eyes screwed up. Part of him not wanting to go in because he was scared of what Nicky would look like. He couldn't face seeing his best friend like that, but another, stronger, part wanting to fly to Nickys side and never move again.
And there he was, his perfect angel, lying on a hospital bed, bruises and cuts all over his face, and an oxygen mask over his face. Oh god. What if it was too late? What if he never woke up? How could he survive without Nicky? It couldn't happen. If Nicky died, he would kill hi- what was he saying? He could never do that! Nicky wouldn't want him to. Nicky would want him to carry on with his life, and grow old with Ricky. Adopt children, start life afresh.
Stirring from the bed caught his attention. Nicky was turning his face to look at them.
'Rod?'
'Yes Nicky, I'm here.' His voice held back tears. This couldn't happen. Not now. He was only 30. He should be settling down and getting married, not battling for his life in a hospital bed. No!
I wanna make you smile, whenever you're sad
Carry you around, when your arthritis is bad
I can be the man, to grow old with you…
'Rod, I'm sorry for forgetting your birth..'
'Shhh. I know. It's not your fault.'
'I was only hurrying back from the store, I didn't mean to..The car just... I bought you a birthday present. It's just there.' He looked over at the chair next to him. There, in an obviously store gift wrapped present. He gingerly picked it up, and looked at Nicky, who said 'Open it!' He started to untie the bow on the top, and once it had fallen off, he slowly peeled off every layer. If this was going to be their las – don't THINK like that Rod. He's going to be fine. His eyes filled up with tears, as he seen what the present was: 'The life and times of Judy Garland.'
'Oh Nicky!' He put the book down next to him, and tried to give his best friend a hug, but there were too many wires pumping blood into his now-fragile body. He looked into his eyes, and there was an understanding that was only between them. 'Thank you.'
'I know you've had your eyes on in for a while, and I'd been saving up for weeks to buy it for you.'
The tears were still there, but being held back. He wouldn't break down in front of Nicky. He would stay strong. He was always the rock, emotionless one. He couldn't let go now.
'Oh Nicky, Thank you.'
Be your medicine when your tummy aches,
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
It would be so nice, growing old with you…
There was a commotion outside, and he took his eyes of Nicky for a brief moment, and seen that Kate, Princeton, Gary, Lucy, (Who were now a couple, after Lucy had her 'encounter with the Lord'! at this very hospital) Christmas Eve, Brian…hell, even Trekkie had dragged his ass down from his computer to come visit. Typically, the commotion was caused by Trekkie trying to check out some nurse's tits. Even Nicky managed a chuckle once he seen what was happening out of his window. He turned back, and seen that his love wasn't his normal bright green self, he was now much paler. Oh god. No! He grabbed for Nickys hand, which was cold as ice.
'Nicky! Nicky! Oh god, Nicky! Can you hear me??' Not now, please, if there was a god up there, please don't let him go now. There were still so many things left unsaid…
'Rod, I'm fine, don't worry.' Even now, Nicky had that tone of voice that had always reassured Rod. The laughing-all-life-is-a-joke, tone. Argh, that tone usually annoyed him so much! But how could he be annoyed at his Nicky now? 'I'm gonna be okay.'
Thoughts flashed through Rod's mind: 'Oh Nicky.You knew that was a lie, and so does everyone else. Why do you do this to me? I love you with all of my heart, and now you're just going to leave me. This isn't fair, You're too young. Please don't leave me Nicky, I need you by my side.'
'Nicky, I just want you to know that… oh god, how can I put this? I'm sorry. No doubt, I put you through a lot of pain when you realised I loved you. I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for always putting things off, telling you that we'll do them another day. I'm sorry for never letting you get a puppy, because I was scared they would mess up the apartment. As soon as you're out of here, we'll buy you one.'
Here, he expected Ricky to put up an argument, but he didn't speak up, he just placed a hand on Rod's back, as if to agree, but without saying anything. He could swear Ricky had a 6th sense sometimes; it was almost as if he knew when to talk, and when it was just a quiet moment. It was one of those things that was so different to Nicky. Nicky was always so talkative, and it was usually so annoying, but now, he would give anything to hear him speak.
And I'll miss you,..
Kiss you,
Take your shoes off and rub your feet…
'A puppy? Really? You're not just saying that? Can we get a Dalmation? I've always wanted one of them!' His voice sounded so sweet, full of excitement, like a child's in the same position.
'Any one you want. You just name the type.'
Nicky had a big smile on his face now. 'I want a brown Labrador. We can name him Chocolate, and we can take him for walks around Central Park.'
'Whatever you want Nicky. We go on walks around the whole city if you want. We can go eat at that place you've always wanted to go, and I promise I won't burst out into my Barbra impression every time we walk past a theatre. I'm sorry for doing that, I know it annoyed you. I'm sorry for all those times I dragged you to see a show, when I know you wanted to go somewhere else. I'm sorry for all those times you wanted to show me things, but I just ignored you. I'm sorry for saying I have work, just so I didn't have to go out with you. You know, I regretted it as soon as the words came out of my mouth. It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with you, and I don't know why I said them, but they came out of my mouth, and I'm sorry.'
The tears were coming now. Slowly, but they where there. His hand was gripping Nickys, hard. Ricky had sat down next to him, and his friends were in the hospital corridor, not wanting to break the atmosphere, and watching them through the room's window. Kate and Princeton were holding on to each other, Kate chewing on her lip, her eyes filled with tears, while Princeton was trying to comfort her, but he was obviously trying not to cry at the same time. Christmas Eve and Brian were sitting down on some obviously hugely uncomfortable hospital chairs, holding hands. Lucy and Gary? Weren't there, it looked like they had gone to eat. He had lost all track of time, just sitting there, looking at his angel being kept alive with machines, obviously in lots of pain. It seemed that everyone knew it was just a matter of time. No one can get hit by a 60MPH truck and live to tell the tale.
Need you..
Feed you...
And when we play checkers I'll let you cheat...
'Please, don't go Nicky. I know you can fight this. Please, I couldn't live if you weren't here. I'd go crazy. You remember that time when we weren't talking, and you were living on the streets? I cried myself to sleep every night. I hated not speaking to you, it tore me apart. I'm sorry for doing that to you. I'm sorry for being so hot headed. I've never really forgiven myself for doing that to you. I'm so sorry, for everything. I'm sorry for always complaining about how you came in drunk at night. I'm sorry for all those times we argued. They were always over little things, and I'm sorry for blowing them up out of control.'
There was no stopping the tears now. They were freely flowing down his cheeks, ruining his best suit, but he didn't care, or even think about it. His hand grabbing Nicky's tightly.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink
It would've been so nice…
'Please don't leave me now Nicky. I couldn't imagine life without you by my side. Remember the conversation we had last week? You were going to get married to a hot babe, and I was going to adopt kids, and we were going to stay the best of friends, all the way until my kids kicked us out of their flat, and even then, we'd be those creepy old best friends in the nursing home with the false teeth. Remember Nicky? We swore we'd stay the best of friends forever. We were meant to grow old together Nicky. You can't leave me now. Don't fucking leave me now Nicky. Don't you fucking leave me!!!! I couldn't fucking live without you.' He wiped his eyes under his glasses. He wasn't going to have his final words to his Nicky be swearing. He'd never forgive himself.... 'Nicky, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you, you've always been there for me, no matter what, ever since we first met in kindergarten. Thank you for those times we had together. Thank you for helping me come out, I know I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you for...oh, those times we would sit in the living room, and you would annoy me by sitting to close to the TV, or burning your tounge on the marshmallow roasting fork. I know I complained, but it was just because I didn't realise that is what made you so adorable. You should have had a proper girlfriend by now, but the girls obviously couldn't see what an absolute star you are. You brighten up peoples lives,Nicky, just by being there. And for that, my angel, I thank you.' He couldn't hold back the tears anymore. All the fear, anger, sadness, of the past..oh god, what time was it now? Days could have passed, and he wouldn't have noticed. All that mattered was that him and Nicky were together. All the emotions that he had been feeling just came out in a torrent of sobs. He was crying for himself, he was crying for Nicky, he was crying for the loss to their group of friends, He was crying for the memories that should have been theirs but were missed, but most of all, he was crying for the future that should have been.
…growing old with you…
I really like it anyway...
