Aww, honey! I'm sorta glad I made you cry, it means it did what it was meant too!! I was sobbing while I was writing it too, but that's only because I was having a REALLY crappy day, and I hated the world.
And something that's meant to be kinda funny, but sorta fails, but I'm posting it up here anyway. Because I'm bored. Basically.
Avenue Q in 10 minutes!!( Yes, just before I start, M15M actually belongs to Cleolinda Jones (
community.livejournal.com/m15m/ )
I'm just sorta-not-really using the title.
M15M belongs to Cleolinda Jones. Not Me. Go read her awesomely funny stuff.
Oh, and for this, Princeton's last name is Cohen. Because I said so.)
Princeton: I'm just outta college. WTF now???
-----------------
Kate: My life sucks.
Brian: Mine to. I'm sad. *Cries*
Kate: I have no love life!!!
Nicky: My best friend is anal-retentive. ANAL retentive!!!
Rod: HE MESSES UP MY ALPABETICALLIZED BROADWAY CAST RECORDINGS!!
Christmas Eve: My fiancee's a lazy bum who won't get a fuckin JOB!
Princeton: Hey, I'm looking for somewhere cheap and skanky to live?
Brian: Welcome to the neighbourhood!
Gary: PH34R TEH $UXERS!!!
Everyone else: Hhaha. You suck worse than us.
Gary: Gee, thanks.
Kate: ZOMG! PRINCETON YOU'RE SO HOT!
Princeton: Thanks!
Kate: Wanna get married and have babies???
Princeton: ……………I…er….gotta go.
-----------------
Rod: *Looks Around * Good, Nicky's not here! *Looks in book * Mmm, Hugh Jackman and Si-
Nicky: Hey Rod!
Rod: Oh shi- Hi Nicky!
Nicky: Rod, You know…I'd still be here if you were gay!
Rod: Are. You. Calling. Me. Gay?
Nicky:…………..<_<
Rod: OMG! I'M SO NOT GAY! HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH A THING, WHORE???
-----------------
Princeton: I need a purpo..- Oh look! A penny!!
-----------------
Princeton: Hey, Are you and Trekkie, like…Related?
Kate: OMG! PRINCETON! That's totally racist towards Monsters!!
Princeton: ….oopsie?
Kate: OMG! How could you say such a thing, you are so totally racist!
Princeton: 0H RLY?
Kate: YA RLY!
Gary: OMG! You're talking about Racism! I'm offended! I'm not Racist!!
Princeton: Yes you are!
Gary: Jeezus, I am!
Kate: Jesus was white.
Gary: No, Jesus was Black.
Kate: No, Jesus was white.
Gary: No, Seriously…Jesus was Black.
Kate: Honestly, Jesus was white!
Gary: You wanna take this outside??
Kate:......Meep.
Brian: Cool! Racism! But I'm not Racist, just ask my Chinese wife!
Christmas Eve: I'm Japenese.
Brian: Whatevers, same thing.
Christmas Eve: ZOMG! That's totally racist!
Brian: HYPOCRITE!
Christmas Eve: NO WAI! *Beats Brian to death with a stick*
-----------------
Princeton: I still need a purpose!
Bad Idea Bears: Do drugs! Buy Beer! Smoke! Stalk Celebrities! Watch Po-Princeton: Guys, you had me at drugs!
Bad Idea Bears: We have crack!
Princeton: Lead the way, awfully cute furry things!!
Bad Idea Bears: Let go get AIDS! YAAAAAY!
-----------------
Kate: OMG! I'M GONNA TEACH! YAYNESS!!!!! I'm gonna be the best teacher EVAH! I'm gonna teach about the internet!!
Trekkie: And It's main usage?
Kate: Internet Shopping? Myspace? Facebook? Stalkin-
Trekkie: PORN!
Kate: Ew. No. That's not what MOST people use the Internet for.
Guys: 0 Rly??
Kate: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
-----------------
Christmas Eve: Yea, tell your friend 'Tod' not to come out of the closet. He's not worth it. He's an Insult to gay men everywhere!
Rod: …………
Christmas Eve: Hopes it all works out for him!
Rod:……………
Christmas Eve: See you!
Rod:………………… Shit.
-----------------
Princeton: Hey Kate!
Kate: Mr and Mrs Princeton Mrs Kate Cohen. Lady Kate Co- HEY Princeton!
Princeton: Hey Kate, heres this tape I made, hope you like it!
Kate: OMFG! HE MADE ME A TAPE! HE MUST LIKE ME! YAY!!!! WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED!!! WOO-HOO!!
Princeton: And heres the one I made for Rod, Nicky, Brian, Gary, Trekkie and Christmas Eve!!
Kate: Oh, snap.
Princeton: So, d'ya wanna go out tonight?
Kate: HELL YES!
-----------------
Lucy: *Has big boobies *
Princeton: *Makes googly eyes at Lucy*
Kate: *Is Jealous*
Kate and Princeton: *Get Drunk*
-----------------
Kate and Princeton: *Have hot dirty raunchy sex. And it is hot. And kinky.*
Christmas Eve and Brian: *Get Laid*
Trekkie: *Is secretly perving on them all*
-----------------
Nicky: OMG! Rod, right there, go on... a liiittle deeper!
Rod: …Nicky, are you…dreaming about…us?
Nicky: Hot Hot Hot, Sweat Sweet...
Rod: OMG! HE LOVES ME! YAY!
(At the same time)
Kate: God, That's Good.
Princeton: Heres a dirty penny!
Kate: Aww, Princeton…That's SO romantic!
Kate and Rod: WE'RE GONNA HAVE BABIES, AND MOVE BY THE SEA, AND WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED AND HAVE LOTS OF LITTLE CUTE AND ADORABLE BABIES! AND IT'S ALL GOING TO BE SO ROMANTIC!!!
Nicky: Rod! Stop moaning my name, it's creeping me out!
Rod: You weren't asleep?
Nicky: Nope!
Rod: *Cries*
The Audience: *Heartstrings tug for the eternal cuteness that is Rod.*
-----------------
Mrs Thistletwat: You left the children alone, and now Betty has started sacrificing other children to Santa, and Robby has managed to kill everybody who likes the color pink!
Kate: …….Oops?
Mrs Thistletwat: Lazy Bitch!
Kate: I QUIT!
Mrs Thistletwat: You can't quit!
Kate: Tough shit. I just have.
Mrs T: You're Fired!
Kate: FUCK YOU WHORE, I QUIT!
Princeton: …You're hot when you're angry! Want to go to Christmas Eve and Brian's wedding with me?
Kate: ………………SQUEE!!!! I want your Babies!!
Kate and Princeton: *Get it on. Again*
-----------------
Christmas Eve and Brian: *Get Married*
Rod: *is upset*
Gary:
*Whispers* Whats the matter with Rod?Christmas Eve:
*Whispers* I think he's gay!Brian:
*Whispers* Lets ask Nicky!Nicky:
*Whispers* What?Gary:
*Whispers* Is Rod gay?Nicky:
Oh yea, I think Rod is gay!!!Rod: WHA-
Nicky: Fuck. I didn't whisper that, did I?
Rod: You think I'm gay?? I'M TOTALLY NOT GAY!!! I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!
Nicky: You DO??
Rod: YEA! NOW GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT! I don't want you around anymore!
Nicky: No!
Rod: YES.
Nicky: *Cries*
Audience: NO! ROD! YOU LOVE HIM, HOW COULD YOUUUUU???
Kate: I caught the bouquet!.....
Now marry me!Princeton: What?
Kate: ……Nothing!
Princeton: Kate, listen. We need to talk.
Kate: What about?
Our future babies names??Princeton: Wha-? Oh, nevermind. Basically, I don't wanna be around you anymore. You're cramping my style, yo.
Kate: But…But…Princeton! What about our babies??? *Cries*
Audience: *Is sad*
-----------------
Princeton: Great. I've screwed up my life by the age of 22.
Bad Idea Bears: Hang Yourself!!
Yellow Bear: *Brings out Rope*
Princeton: Hell no!
Bad Idea Bears: Awww. No Fair. We wanted to watch! We even brought popcorn!! *Leaves*
Brian: Lets go outside and go crazy around the city!!
Princeton: No.
Brian: Please?
Princeton: No.
Brian: Pretty Please?
Princeton: NO!
Brian: Go on!
Princeton: FUCK OFF, NO!!
Brian: Tough.
Everyone: One short day iiiin New York City! One Short Day to have a LIFETI……wait, no.
Lucy: *Still has big boobies*
Princeton: ……..Wanna go back to my apartment?
Lucy: Sure!
-----------------
Kate: Oh, so I'M cramping your style??
Princeton: I gotta run Kate, but I've missed you.
Kate: LUCY SUCKS!
Lucy: Better than you do!
Kate: Uh. I hate Princeton.
Christmas Eve: That means you love him!
Kate: ……..o.0? WHAT???
-----------------
Kate:
Dearest Darlingest Princeton,
I loved seeing you yesterday.
Hope to see you again.
Wanna do 'Friend' stuff on the top of the Empire State Building with me tonight?
Call me if you can't.
Eternally Yours and sending love,
Kate.
(Who still wants to marry you and have your babies)-----------------
Kate: Priiiinceton? Where ar- Oh. It's You.
Lucy: Man he is good in bed! Do you mind seeing if there's still bruises left from the whips and chains he had me in?
Kate: Why didn't Princeton use whips and chains with ME?? *Leaves note with Lucy*
Audience: BAD IDEA KATE!!
Lucy: *Burns Note*
Audience: Told ya so!!
-----------------
Nicky: *Is Homeless*
Gary: Your life sucks more than mine!
Nicky: Can I live with you?
Gary: No.
Nicky: Why Not?
Gary: Because it's funny watching you be sad.
Nicky: That's TERRIBLE!!!
-----------------
Kate: *Is on top of the Empire State Building. Alone*
Lucy: Princeton, get OFF my leg.
Princeton: What about our hot dirty raunchy sex, didn't that mean ANYTHING to you??….Wait. Don't answer that. It was rhetorical.
Lucy: ........Clearly.
Kate: Guys Suck. Why do I even still have this dirty rotten penny, anyway?? *Throws Penny*
Lucy: Ow.
-----------------
Kate: OMG! PRINCETON! Are you alright? Did you hurt anything???
Princeton: Nah, I'm fine, but some absolute ASSHAT threw a penny from the empire state building.
Kate: …………..So, you're okay. Nothing broken, still fertile??
Princeton: Perfectly Fine.
Kate: Oh. Then why didn't you meet me? Jerk!
Princeton: Who? What? When? Where? Why?
Kate: You, Me, Empire State Building.
Princeton: Nope. Never Heard Anything.
Kate: Lucy really is a Bitch of a Bitch, if ever Bitch there was.
Princeton: Because, Because, because, because, because???
Kate: Because of the whore-ish things she does!
Lucy: *Is ded*
-----------------
Nicky: I'm huuuungryyyyyy. And Hoooomeeelesssss. Anyone got any spare change??
Rod: *Is ignoring Nicky*
Nicky: ROD!! YAY! We're friends again, right?
Rod: ……….
Nicky: Riiiiight?
Rod: …………
Nicky: *Cries*
Rod: ………
Nicky: *walks off crying*
Audience: *Melts into a steaming ball of heartbreak*
Christmas Eve: Rod, you okay?
Rod: *Breaks down crying* I MISS NICKY!!!!!
Christmas Eve: Rod, it's okay.
Rod: WAAAAAAH *Sobs*
Christmas Eve: Rod, calm down. Stop Crying.
Rod: *Sniffles* Niiiiickkky, I loooooove you!
Christmas Eve: Rod, stop wiping your snot on my kimono. Please?
-----------------
Kate/Nicky/Princeton: Jeez, life was SO much easier in College.
-----------------
Nicky: PRINCETON!
Princeton: What??
Nicky: I need Money!
Princeton: Nice try.
Nicky: Please?
Princeton: No.
Nicky: Please?
Princeton: No.
Nicky: Please?
Princeton: No.
Nicky: Please?
Princeton: No.
Nicky: Please?
Princeton: No. GODDAMIT! NO, I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MONEY! BUGGER OFF!!!
Nicky: ……..Please?
Princeton: Oh for the love of teh Lipk- HERE!! *Gives money*
Nicky: Thanks!!
Princeton: Wow! I actually feel better now!
Nicky: Really?
Princeton: No. But, the plot's dragging, so I need to somehow get back together with Kate. I know! I'll make the All-Monster School she mentioned waaaaay back at the start of the first act.
Nicky: Monster Sch- wha??
Princeton: You know, the one she's always going on about?
Nicky: She's always going on about SOMETHING, but it ain't no School, Princeton.
Princeton: …………….
Nicky: *Eyebrow raise*
Princeton: Oh hell no!
Nicky: Wanna Tango?
Princeton: Say wha??
Nicky: Sorry, I got the sudden urge to dance.
Princeton: Riiiight. So are you going to give me your fucking money, or not?
Nicky: How very DARE you? I'm Homeless, I need this money!
Princeton: Nicky, Please? Think of Kate!
Nicky: I'm thinking, but NOT how you want me to!
Princeton: OH. EW!! NICKY! Money?
Nicky: Oh FINE! *Hands Money Over*
Princeton: Woo! We got…. 5 cents..
Nicky: Thanks. Rub it in why don't you?
Christmas Eve/Brian/Gary: *Randomly appear and give money. As you do.*
Princeton: Thanks guys! Now we got….. 10 bucks. Great. now what??
Nicky: I know! Let's ask the audience! I'm sure they've got spare change from spending money on food/drinks/icecream/merchandise.
Princeton: Yea!
The Audience: *Puts in everything BUT money.*
Princeton: You guys, Pink Panties aren't going to buy anything. Nor are Rainbow Socks or ….Oooh, Condoms!! *Giggles*
Brian: Great. Now what?
Gary: I know, let's ask the guy who's LEAST likely to help us! That's SURE to help the plot!!
Trekkie: Hell No Biznatches! I'm keeping my money right here!!!
Princeton: Awww, but Trekkiiieeee!!
Trekkie: Nope! My small fortune is staying with me! What do you want the money for anyway?
Princeton: It's for Kate's Monster School!!
Trekkie: Kate's what?
Princeton: You know, Kate's School for Monsters??
Trekkie: Nope, never heard her talk about it!!
Princeton: So, Are you giving Money?
Trekkie: Ah, might as well. I am possibly a paedophile, anyway!!
Everyone: Ew.
Trekkie: Here! Here's my bazillion's of dollars!!
Brian: WOOO! MONEY!!
Christmas Eve: Hey Trekkie, if you have that much money, why don't you just move??
Trekkie: Oh shuttup, that's a plot hole the writers want to cover up!!
Gary: *Steals Money*
Princeton: *Manages to build and open a school, without Kate Noticing*
Kate: ZOMG! MY SCHOOL!!
Everyone: YAY!!
Rod: Hey guys, I'm Gay!!
Everyone: ……. No shit!!!
Rod: Nicky, can we be 'Friends'??
Nicky: SURE! HUUUGGG!!
*Rod and Nicky Hug*
The Audience: AW, SO CUTE!!!
Nicky: But, as I'm completely straight-
The Audience: BUT WHAT ABOUT ROD???
Nicky: I've decided to bring in Ricky, because if I didn't, there would be a riot outside the Stage Door, lead by the Rod/Nicky Shippers.
Kate: YAYNESS! MY SCHOOL!!! This cheers me up almost as much as Princeton's babies would!
Christmas Eve: Princeton thought of all this, you know!
Princeton: Ah, it was noth- *Kate starts passionately making out with him.*
Everyone else: So, does this mean you two are back together?
Kate: HELL YA!!
(Can I have your babies now??)-----------------
Princeton: But, my story line still isn't finished!!! What happened to my purpose?
Kate: Oh please, You're never gonna find it.
Princeton: THANKS!!!
Kate: But, so the audience doesn't leave feeling all depressed, it'll only be for now.
Everyone: Only For Now! SEX, Is Only for Now! HAIR, is only for now! WORKING COMPUTERS, are only for now! THIS SHOW is only for noooooww!
Lucy: *Is a virgin again, and still has Big Boobies*
Guys: Swwweeeeeeet!!
-El Finito-
What do you think?